Britney

Once a clean teen icon, way back in 99,

A fuck storm hit poor Britney, and more than just one time.

Oops! her life went tits up , she fell on her coccyx,

Her career down the shit hole, her lifestyle became toxic.

Once so pure and virginal, Britney’s first mistake,

She went all Steven Irwin, and milked a trousersnake.

Her move into the film world flopped, her debut not impacting,

We all knew that her singing stunk, but she’s also shite at acting.

Then she locked lips with Madonna, like a big wet trout,

It could have been more sexy If Madge took her false teeth out.

And then she married K-Fed, A money grabbing jackal,

He wasn’t quite so gangsta rap but more a jizzy rascal.

Shockingly it didn’t last, her life got wrenched apart,

Her kids have spent more time in care, than shes spent in the charts.

A downward spiral hit her, she sank into despair,

At first she lost her innocence and then she lost her hair.

In the flash of the paparazzi Britney went on show

With nipples just like dinner plates and raging camel toe.

Then she flashed her shaven minge, and regretted it thereafter,

A Brazilian more upsetting than Wagner off X-Factor.

Her bald head marked her breakdown, an image like no other,

Like 2 weeks on chemo or the missing Mitchell Brother.

With her big bald napper on the plus side her agent gleaned,

They could polish up her image with a can of Mr Sheen.

Perhaps she’ll make a comeback for what seems the millionth time,

Take her out to pasture, this fat cows past her prime.

She doesn’t ever sing live, she mimes to our relief,

The only sound you’ll hear from her is a non too subtle queef.

But Britney was always trash, so it figures why not fuck it?

Less dinner at the ivy, more nando’s bargain bucket.

To end things on a positive one final thought we’ll spare her,

She’s always been more watchable than that mad bitch Aguilera.