Take Me Out

Shakespeare wrote soliloquies that told of burning love,

And sonnets of such beauty they charmed angels from above.

He penned the tale of Romeo’s doomed love for Juliet,

The standard of great romances Shakespeare simply set.

But if he were alive today would his words still be so mighty?

Or would he simply yell aloud ‘no likey no lighty’.

 Paddy McGuiness is now cupid, on date show Take Me Out,

Teaching us all exactly what modern courtships all about.

It’s not about real bonding; depth is not its mission,

It’s judging people by their looks and making snap decisions.

He’s rounded up some ladies, and he’s gonna find them dates,

But judging by these single gals a tough time lies in wait.

Paddy’s got a task in hand to marry off these Cinderella’s

There’s more chance he’ll find Maddy McCann than find this lot a fella.

Set loose is the single guy, who bounds round unabashed,

Leaving 30 desperados frothing at the gash.

 Part entertainment &  part game show, it’s an odd concoction,

They should change the name to Paddys Saturday cock auction.

It’s really just like Blind Date, but with a new century slight twinge,

Proving dating shows haven’t greyed (unlike Cilla’s minge)

And once a date is set up, the prize is a real corker,

A gob job and a fingering somewhere in Majorca.

But what it all boils down to is a bit of silly fun,

and Paddy is on cue with the bad jokes and bad puns.

So if Shakespeare doesn’t like it, the solution isn’t hard,

Chuck him out the studio and tell him that he’s Bard (!)