Charlie Sheen

Cocaine aint so cool no more, Heroines passé

There’s something on the market trumping all other class A’s.

One designer drug of choice has got the smack heads keen,

A drug on which we all are hooked, a drug called Charlie Sheen.

Claims that he has tiger blood, what does he mean by that?

Does he carry out his binges like a coked up Thundercat?

He only has one speed, one gear, and that is simply ‘go’.

He’s sniffed his gear at top speed, fatigues starting to show.

He claims that he has done more drugs than one man could survive,

He’s rolling up a massive spliff from his P45.

Charlie aint exactly sad that his shows came to an end,

gets to be at home more with his two and a half girlfriends,

A nanny and a pornstar, he’s so pleased he could burst,

Jude Laws fucking raging, he had the idea first.

‘I am not bipolar’ He shrieks manically grinning,

Wild eyed rants aimed at the press are signs that he’s Bi-winning.

Charlie is convinced he’s right, he won’t get all defeatist,

We dont care if he burns out fast, so long as he still tweets it.